The Augmented Fifth - 12/31/2017

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Happy New Year! Thanks for choosing to wrap up your 2017 in style with us here at Fifth House and the Augmented Fifth. I mean, let's be honest, it's better than that $4 bottle of "champagne" that you bought from CVS. Brut-al.

Check out what we've got going on and we're looking forward to keeping you informed and entertained throughout 2018!



New Years Eve Dammit!

Chicago, IL

December 31, 11:59pm


Celebrate your new year by listening to some music about a fictional character in love with another fictional character.

Jokes aside, this is some good stuff.


Fifth House Ensemble New Years Resolutions

  1. Deuce: To start following through on all the stupid ideas he has so he can finally afford a Tesla.

  2. Charlene: Trying on new outfits and eating more apples.

  3. Danny: To eat vegan for at least the month of January and to tell everyone about it until at least February.

  4. Jessica: To come up with a resolution by the time I post this. Meta.

  5. Eric: To go to more concerts and to listen more than he speaks. (I couldn't find anything funny to say about that one. Go forth and prosper, my friend!)

  6. Herine: Figure out to use PowerPoint so that when we send her out on presentations we don't get panicked phone calls.

  7. Dan: To stop belching on staff calls and to come up with more realistic resolutions.

  8. Parker: To be funnier. HAHA IMPOSSIBLE!

  9. Grace: To get as least as much sleep at home as she does on Fifth House tours. Tell those babies to take care of themselves for a change. (Pun intended)

  10. Melissa: To be the very best, like no one ever was.



New Years Eve is here!

2018 (Twenty-Eighteen) must be good

Please let it be good



Fireworks, contrary to popular belief, are not dangerous whatsoever and require absolutely no prior knowledge to handle correctly. Take for example, this fine young gentleman who found the fireworks experience so easy and fun, he began screaming in the streets of New York City about it. Stay safe, chitlins.



Me returning Christmas gifts in real life.



Did you know that Yule Logs are delicious? Seriously, I could eat 3 of these easy.


P.S. Please do not eat real logs. No one needs fiber that badly



With all of the misery the cold and snow can bring, it's nice to see that someone is enjoying themselves. Yeah that's my dog looking adorable as usual. He'll cuddle your cold, black, winter heart right up!



Danny Cohen

Thanks for dealing with all of our problems in 2017. Here's to a 2018 full of more Young Daniel solution magic!